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SYAZWANI
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cedar np
aries '04-'07
victorian
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INSYA ALLAH

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Wednesday, January 09, 2008
i feel really stressed up and depressed
i don't know why i'm getting so worked up over quite a minor thing
but the fact is, i am

i'm torn
i don't know wth i should stay in mj or leave for vj
my mom wants me to go to vj as long as i qualify for it
so that means if i get 9 (raw) or below, i have to apply for vj
i know it has been my childhood dream and all to get into vj,
but now i'm rather neutral abt it
cos i'm SUPER attached to mj
i really can't bear to leave

but the thing is,
i would be depressed too if i can't qualify for vj
cos that shows that my results aren't good
i feel that i've given my best during o's
and i'd be disappointed if i don't get single digit

god save me
i know vj is good for my future
but mj is good too
but my mom won't buy my story

i had been thinking abt it since monday
just now, i felt my worst
i felt like crying on my way home
cos i'm really pressured by the jc thing and the cca selections
i'd be sad if i don't get into shooting, really

but
i think i feel a little better now after running
cos running really takes my stress away
but i think it will come back soon, the stress i mean

i really hope i get 6 points
so that i wouldn't think twicw abt going to vj
i hope i get into the shooting team

thanks to all those who had been with me, trying to talk to me, trying to calm me down or show support for me during my breakdowns.
thanks guys.
i really love you people alot
<33

i really hope god answers my prayers


vintage love♥ ♥ ♥
7:25 pm